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I Miss Your Voice


Joe at age 16; garage band concert

Dear Joe,


Guess what? Jamie’s getting married!


Or maybe you already knew that? I’m not really sure how things work where you are…


Anyway, I am so happy for her, but I am missing you so much these days. I know you would enjoy being involved in the planning. You’d be helping with wedding-related errands. No doubt you would write a special song for the occasion. We might’ve even gotten you out on the dance floor. And you’d look great in a suit!


I have really been wanting to hear your voice. So I scrolled as far back as I could on my phone to see if there were any voice mails from you. I couldn’t find any. The list only goes back a few years and you generally didn’t leave messages during your cancer journey—it took too much energy, and you couldn’t always think of the words you wanted. So I don’t think I have any voice messages from you.


BUT, I do have videos! I spent a couple of hours the other day going through family videos on my laptop and LOVED hearing you teach Anna about changing the oil in the car, and your deep laugh as you played cards with the family. Just five months after these videos were taken, you were diagnosed with the brain cancer that would claim your life. I know you didn’t love having your picture taken or the video camera pointed at you, but thank you for being a good sport. These photos and videos are kind of a lifeline for me as I hang on to my memories of you.





And of course I’m really glad you left us your music—thank you for that. It helps a lot. Jamie plans to dance to one of your songs at her wedding reception!


We’ll miss you at the wedding, but you are always in our hearts.


Love you Joe.


Mom

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My heart is knit together with yours as you wrestle through this chasm of grief. I’m so pleased to learn of Jamie’s good news, but, yes, Joe should be dancing at the wedding. I’m praying that God will send many signs to you that Joe is with you in spirit for this family celebration. Praying for your comfort because I know how much the heart wants what the heart wants.

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Thank you, Cat!

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Congratulations, Jamie! Lori, I do believe that he knows:

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."

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I think of it as a corollary with this verse: "We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord." Once we see Jesus, we see everything clearly; we no longer see in part. Once we are absent from this body, we are present with Jesus. At least that's how I read it.

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